“This is my wish for you: peace of mind, prosperity through the year, happiness that multiplies, health for you and yours, fun around every corner, energy to chase your dreams, joy to fill your holidays!”
- D.M. Dellinger
The holidays can be a magical time filled with love, laughter… and lots of food. If you have an eating disorder however, even the most special of days feel scary and overwhelming. Furthermore, not all families are supportive and understanding, and spending time with them can cause additional stress. It’s important to know that you are not alone in feeling an increased sense of anxiety this time of year. The following are some tips for getting through the holidays and staying on track in your eating disorder recovery.
Define healthy boundaries. Take some time for self-awareness. Check in with yourself and consider the things you feel ready to say yes to versus the things you should be saying no to. For example, agreeing to attend a large dinner party may be too overwhelming right now, so maybe you chose to have dinner on your own and then stop by for dessert. Be honest with yourself when contemplating the things you commit to and only say yes if you truly feel ready. Communicate your boundaries with friends and family clearly and with confidence.
Follow your meal plan. Depending where you are in recovery, you may or may not have a meal plan. Regardless, you should have an idea of what an appropriate day of eating looks like for you. Even with this knowledge, it becomes difficult to stick to what we know on days in which meals are larger than usual or at irregular times. The best way to approach this is with flexibility. If you require 3 meals and 3 snacks per day, you may want to consider moving some meals and snacks around to cater to an earlier dinner time. Or maybe snack will be pie for dessert or leftovers later that night!
Plan ahead. There is no shame in asking what will be served ahead of time! The more information you have, the more prepared you can be. It may be helpful to review portion sizes with your dietitian as well. Or maybe you are working on being more spontaneous and flexible? If so, challenge yourself to go with the flow this holiday season. It is important to keep in mind that all the planning in the world cannot prepare us for unforeseen circumstances or emotions that may arise, so having a plan B (like a frozen dinner when you get home or a bar in your purse) is always a good idea.
Set an intention. Traditional goal-setting often plays into black and white thinking patterns. Instead, consider setting an intention for this year’s festivities. Goals typically focus on the result while intentions focus on the process. For example, instead of setting a goal like “don’t binge”, try setting an intention such as “eat slowly and mindfully” or “check in with hunger and fullness cues more often”. It is essential that your intentions feel attainable and are realistic. Research has shown that writing down our intentions helps us actualize them, so consider taking the time to write them down and review before you go.
Have an accountability buddy. Now that you have some intentions set and a plan ready, think about asking for support. Is there someone that can help hold you accountable? Is there someone, either physically present or available via phone, that you can reach out to when struggling? Fill them in beforehand, let them know your intentions, and give them an idea of what may be hard for you. Feel free to take a time out, step outside, and check in with a friend when needed. You’re not in this alone!
Prepare yourself for diet talk. Unfortunately, we live in a diet-obsessed society. There may be triggering diet or body talk happening around you this holiday season. Sometimes we feel ready to take it on, and sometimes we don’t. It is okay to walk away from conversations that don’t serve you. It is okay to advocate for yourself and ask to change the subject. It is okay to tell them that they are wrong! It may be helpful to have a prepared response when you hear diet talk come up. I also recommend having a few conversation starters ready so you can change the subject easily. There are much more interesting things to talk about than diets!
Practice self compassion. Expect that there will be challenges and imperfections along the way, and that’s okay! Plan ahead, use your skills, and seek support. Most importantly, be present with your friends and family this holiday season. Remind yourself that the holidays can be challenging for all of us and especially if you are healing from disordered eating. Give yourself the gift of recovery this year, and move into the new year with gratitude.
Happy Holidays!